You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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