Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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