Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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