This is not my ceiling
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
