i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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