youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
tell me about the eggs
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