Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
