New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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