Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
