Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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