There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
