Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
