I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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