I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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