She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
