we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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