At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Come on in and take your pants off
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