Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
