if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
