Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize