like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
