Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
