They should really pass out barf bags in church
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
