you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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