i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You're like the curious george of whores
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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