what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
