Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
