SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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