I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
