I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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