can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
