Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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