So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
