I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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