oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
