fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
