Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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