I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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