I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
