69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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