it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
