please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
