She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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