Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
