I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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