Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize