she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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