The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
