He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I deserve this hangover.
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