thus making me awesome and them whores
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
