if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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