i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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