Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
