I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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