The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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