I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
