some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
