it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
