whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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