am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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