there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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