You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
