Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
