you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
